Also makes me wonder how many people quit reading after that last scentance. After all, nobody wants to read a sad person’s blog.

Work is going well. I think I’m one of the “go to” people if there’s a problem, I can get a needle in the toughest arm and the nurses trust my work. I’m going to be moving in with Geoff within the next couple months, I think I’ll have the closest thing to something that feels like a home for the first time in close to 4 years. I’m growing a garden with flowers and fruits and vegetables, it’s really lovely. I quit smoking, not the quitting that’s like “I haven’t smoked in three days! I quit! I haven’t really done it for months. Geoff loves me and I’m starting to get over my issues of beliving it.

Those are the good things.

Everything else…mmmm…yeah. Not so much. I guess most of my poor spirits stem from a few things. A few weeks ago, my purse was stolen, it had my wallet with $550 cash to pay my rent the next day (I don’t wanna hear how stupid it was of me to be carrying around that much cash, I’m aware), my ipod and my camera. it was a big headache, I’m getting things in order but losing that much money kinda fucks things up for a couple months. Also I’ve been having alot of issues with my mother. I’m almost to the point of washing my hands of her and that’s an unfortunate place to be. She called me on my birthday to tell me that she thought there was something seriously wrong with me. Thanks mom, I’m glad you’re happy with the one daughter you had on her day of birth. I feel bad for my father for being in the middle of it. Last but not least my friends. I feel like the people I’ve felt closest too have abandonded me or just have better things to do. Quite a few of my best friends here have been blowing me off on a regular basis, sometimes without extending me the courtesy of calling to tell me why or answering my calls when I try to find out why. Awesome. It’s not everybody by any means, just enough to notice and for it to hurt.

I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been thinking about getting medicated, from the doctor not self medicating. I was doing some pretty heavy drinking to try and feel better, it didn’t really work, it just made me feel worse. Last time I was on meds though I almost lost my job and wound up in the most unhealthy relationship I’ve ever been in. I should probably go to the doctor anyway.

Blah. I’m having a birthday party this weekend and I hope it does the trick and snaps me out of this and makes me feel loved again. If all else fails I’ll get drunk and dance to a bunch of soul music. By the way, thanks for calling and wishing me happy birthday Devin, you’re the only one from the old group that remembered or said anything, it sincerly meant alot to me.

As cheesy as it is to do, the song pretty much sums up my attitude. Sorry to be such a sad sack, sometimes writing these things help. I know things will get better soon, they always do. It’s just waiting for it that’s hard.

—

Add on: I’ve been feeling slightly better since I wrote this but all the same things are still going on. It sucks. I know I’m being brutally honest about all of my feelings and I’m sure that makes some people uncomfortable. Don’t worry I’m sure I’ll be writing things that lack depth into what’s really going on with me soon! Stay tuned kids!

If that didn’t make you laugh you need to get your regularly scheduled humor matinence taken care of.

Things have been going better than they have in quite some time. Everything is falling into place just how I’ve been hoping it would…

-This stupid, careless girl I was working with that left blood all over the place and that more than half the pataients were scared of got married to some guy she met on the internet a couple months ago and quit working at the unit. I never knew anybody was listening when I wished ill upon my enimies…good to know.

-The creepy guy that lived next to me who would stand in front of my windows and BBQ at 1 am moved out and a nice young single mom with a cute cross-eyed kid moved in. Much much better.

-Geoff’s being nice to me. Things were a bit dicey there for a while.

-I’m quitting smoking successfully this time! I get little cravings now and then but they’re easily ignored. It get’s really hard when I’m drinking. But I think I’ll actually be able to quit this time. Just in time too, Devin’s coming to town soon and I’d hate for him to beat me when he saw me… which leads to….

-Devin and Matt are coming to town! I’m so excited I haven’t seen those hookers for years! Looking forward to seeing Matt’s “I work in a comic book store” look in person!

-I’m going to have two paychecks to this month that I don’t have to pay rent with. Christmas presents and tattoo work here I come!

-I may have an oportunity to get a job as a phlebotomist at the university. Shorter hours, working on people who I don’t have to worry about dying while they’re there and acess to university facilities as well as reduced tuition. There’s a few things that make me hesitant (like the current economic climate and job security) but it’s definately something I’m kicking around.

-I made the most kick ass thanksgiving dinner, the turkey would have made you cry. I tore it apart lastnight and made pot pies and probably a gallon of turkey stock. won’t have to buy stock for a while! Yay!

And finally I found what I want for Christmas. It’s the coolest toy ever. It’s cute and has awesome AI and did I mention it’s cute and I NEED IT!!!

So, in short, right now things are great and I feel like I can’t stop dancing.

So lemmie go on ahead and tell you about my morning…

So Geoff and I were sleeping this morning and I woke to hear some rustling around and talking in what I thought was the kitchen. Geoff just got a new roomie so I thought he was moving around looking for a glass to get water or something. Then Geoff sits straight up so I sit up too wondering what the hell is going on and I realize the noise isn’t coming from the kitchen, it’s coming from the carport on the other side of the wall from us. Now this may freak out some of my more peace loving readers but Geoff keeps a loaded gun next to his bed for just such occasions. Some may call it paranoia but we’ve got a lot of tweakers scurrying around this neighborhood and, well, you really never know what people will do when they’re strung out. I’ve always been about being armed but I prefer knives (my dad recently gave me a machete with something around an 18 inch blade to keep next to my bed. I’m pretty sure if anybody saw me pissed off coming at them with a machete they’d in no particular order, shit themselves and run).

But I’m getting off topic, Geoff grabs his gun and goes to the door leading to the carport and I heard the following conversation:

Geoff: Can I help you?
Trespasser: What?
G:What are you doing on my property?
T:Huh?
G:I’ll ask you again, what the fuck are you doing on my property?
T:What?
G:Molly, call 911. You, get on the ground now!
T:I’m not fucking getting on the ground for you man!
(Geoff had the gun out of sight but by this time I think he brought it into veiw)
G: I said, get on the fucking ground now!

Now I’m on the phone with the 911 operator. Funny thing is when I told her Geoff had a gun on him she started freaking out and had to calm her down by telling her “He has no intention of firing unless the intruder tries to attack him” which is the god honest truth. One of the main rules he learned in the concealed firearms class is “Never point your gun at anything you’re not willing to fire at” and I think that’s a really really good rule, geoff didn’t point the gun at the guy once, he just made sure the guy knew he had it. Not to say I can’t understand her worry, when you get a gun in that kind of situation you never know if the person behind it is trigger happy or what the whole situation is. Anyway, the guy didn’t get on the ground he jogged – not ran – jogged off twards 18th. Geoff came in and gave me the description to give the 911 operator. Apparently he was a husky guy with a bowl cut and – get this – a little tan toy poodly dog. I mean, really? When He gave the description to the cop, he even looked at him and said “He had a little dog with him?” I mean, if I’m going to steal some shit, I always gots to take my poodle, just in case. That’s how I roll.

Jesus.

So the cop got our information, didn’t file a report because they hadn’t found the guy. Weird thing is, Geoff has a trailer for hauling dirt and stuff and it was right next to his truck lastnight and when we were escorting the officer to the front of the house we noticed the guy moved it away from geoff’s truck and butted it against the neighbor’s truck. Fucking weird. It was about half an hour until Geoff had to get up so I put on a pot of coffee, crawled back into bed and watched some home remodeling show with him until his alarm went off.

I’m thinking about learning how to shoot a handgun and getting one. I know, I know, guns are bad and all that but what if that guy in the carport had a gun and Geoff had just had a knife or something? I think we all learned from Indiana Jones, gun beats knife, even a machete. I mean, I live alone and the neighborhood I live in is generally pretty good but it’s not too far away from some pretty sketchy spots, I mean, it’s walking distance from red apple market and if any of you know that place, you see my point. My dad’s all for me learning to shoot and get my concealed firearms permit and it’s starting to sound like a decent idea. I don’t know, for now, I’ll stick with my machete, which for the time being shall be called “the fecalator” and see how I feel about it in a month or so. I’d rather spend my time getting my scooter going before I go running off and get a gun.

Anyway, I’m on my 3rd cup of coffee and I’m a little jacked up so I’m going to just call it good here before I go into too much caffinated rambling.

I told you I’d put up a post if anything interesting happened.

a couple of my coworkers have been coming down with all manner of lame ailments that keep them out of work for a week. While I love overtime pay, I also have a thing for my sanity. Today is the one day off I have this week and then I’m working the next six days straight. It really blows.

On top of that Geoff and I have been speed renovating his house. He switched insurance companies and now since it looks like a dirty bachelor pad (which is exactly what it is) they’re going to drop his homeowners insurance. If he doesn’t have that he defaults on his mortgage and loses his house. Blah! So most nights after I’ve worked ten hours, I do another three usually roofing, painting the house or landscaping on his house. After it’s all said and done I think he needs to buy me something sparkly or take me someplace awesome that isn’t a scooter rally. We’ve been going to alot of those lately and while they’re crazy fun, I can only be hungover so often…

I’ll put up more pictures of my recent adventures soon and actually post things on here a bit more regularly. Well, that is if I have any time away from work to think!

There she is. I know she doesn’t look like much but this is my bike and believe it or not, it’s two stinking bolts to go until it’s ridable. I just have to get the rear break cable connected and that’s it! Now, there’s a big difference between ridable and street legal. As you can see the headlight isn’t connected and there’s engine parts exposed but that’s all kinda superficial and easy to deal with. With any luck it’ll be all together soon. After that I have to get it titled (which is kind of a pain in the ass) and then I have to learn to ride it (with any luck I won’t attempt to burn off any more sexual organs) and then I have to get my motorcycle endorsement. Why can’t things be easy? Oh well, the bike’s almost ridable and that’s an accomplishment in itself! I fixed this thing pretty much on my own and I’ve never fixed something like this before and I’m pretty pleased with myself. Ok, sorry, I’m done with my little “yay for me” party.

After I get this on the road and get good at riding I’m going to have it painted and I’m trying to decide what to paint it. Anybody have any good (or at least amusing) suggestions for me?

So I first off my birfday party! It was awesome, lots of good food, awesome presents but I have to say the thing that struck me was having all my friends from all the different groups I hang out with there. Scooter people, nerds, stoners, everybody! It was an awesome time. I couldn’t stop smiling for days! Last year on Geoff’s birthday I got somebody to hold him down and I spanked him 27 times. He swore that he’d get his revenge on my birthday but I wasn’t that worried seeing as how is in July and my birthday had just happened in April, I wasn’t that worried. That man is like a damn elephant, never forgets, or perhaps my beating was that memorable… Either way, he held me down and everybody got to get their licks in. He’s so dead next year.

Like said in my last brief entry, Geoff got me a tattoo for my birthday and yesterday I started cashing it in. Now, I warn you, I’ve never been a supermodel and I’m not in the best shape but the tattoo looks really pretty so just try to ignore the fat…and my ass. actually, I’m having issues with the image…it might be somewhere on here…I’ll work on that.

Ok, nevermind, fuck this! If you wanna see it go to my flickr page. Flickr and wordpress are royally  pissing me off.

So yeah, It’s a phoenix. It holds some meaning to me and as an added bonus, it looks pretty! The line work was bad enough, the color work is going to suck! I get to lay on a table getting stabbed for hours at a time with my boyfriend’s friend touching my butt. It’s so much fun. When he got to the head of the phoenix He had been working on me for a few hours and it was really sensitive up in there and I was in tears. There’s actually a bite mark on my hand from me, well, biting my self it hurt so much. Next time I’m bringing a leather belt to bite down on. In situations like these , a piece of gum just wort do.

Anywho, I think I’m going to take some ib profen and play video games for a bit before work. Whee!

Ok, that’s all you get. I’m going to bed now.

Sleep! Brought to you by the letter Vicodin! Thanks Vicodin!

I’m now on a mission. A mission from God (I love the blues brothers…).

Last weekend at the scooter rally my friend Tracy was pretty lit and decided to run though the park in her underwear. I was…well a little drunk too but I had the wherewithal to know I didn’t really want her looking like “that girl” so I took off my shirt and ran after her. I’m not a naked drunk. Ever. Geoff’s got that one covered, but I didn’t want Tracy to feel bad in the morning. Unfortunately for me, our friend Joe decided then would be a good time whip out his camera and start taking pictures. Long story short, nothing inspires you to lose some weight like having a picture of yourself in a bra and jeans up on scoot.net…

So the epic journey begins, I’m starting off by eating better and doing crunches and planks in the morning and at night. After that I’m going to get some work out videos because well, it’s cheaper than getting my gym membership back. Also I’m going to try and do more rollerskating ’cause I’m never going to get on the roller derby team if I don’t get a bit better at skating! Once I actually lose some substantial amount of weight I’ll post something. We’ll see how long I can keep it up this time…

Oh, and another thing! I’m planning on having a “totally fuck up my diet” day! It happens to coincide with me having a birthday party on the 19th (actual birthday’s on the 21st). It’s gonna be a potluck and drink beer and stuff fest! So, if you’re in the Eugene area (Kelly…) you should come and have some shenanigans with me! I decided to have a party this year because 1. Geoff has a great house for a party and 2. Whenever I try to go to the bars for my birthday it doesn’t work or it’s retarded. I’ll give you a rundown of the last three years:

21st Birthday: I was dating Ben and he freaked out because I wanted him to drive me around to a few places to get one drink and one appetizer at a few restaurants (that was the concession, if I’d had my way I would have gone to the bars for all my free birthday shots). So I ended up sitting with him in the parking lot of the school I was working at for a few hours trying to convince him Yes, it’s all in your head. No, you are not having a heart attack and no you’re not dying and yes, you are completely retarded. Ok, so that last one was an inside thought… In the end I ended up back at my house with Ben and Ola drinking hard A and eating McDonalds. Whee.

22nd Birthday: Got dragged out to Trackstirs. If hell had a bar, it would be Trackstirs only the heat would be turned up a bit. People proceeded to pour drinks down me and I finished off the night with somebody who was trying to take me home getting me a double 151 and coke. They should have wheeled me out of the place. In the end I wound up at somebody’s apartment throwing up in a trashcan for a while before Ola took me back to my apartment and woke up Ben and I had to be scolded for getting so drunk and feeling like I was going to die all at the same time! It was fabulous.

23rd Birthday: I went out to a bar, we went back to Steven’s apartment to round up the troops and I went into the bedroom and passed out at 12:30. Then an inflatable monkey was provocatively posed on me for the rest of the evening. At least it was slightly better than the last 2 birthdays…

So yes, no more bars! They eat my money and nothing good ever happens at them when I visit them on my birthday.

Anywho, I think I’m going to draw this one to a close. My wisdom teeth are staring to hurt again so it might be time for another vicodin. That’s right! I’m following suit on Annie’s vicodin induced rants! Although I think hers was funnier. I’ll make up for it with this video though….

Yes precious it get’s the hose…